Combat Queens

The perfectly falling pleats of the turquoise crepe saree she is draped in, present quite a contrasting picture to the current ‘scene’ at Payal’s house . It’s 10 in the morning and she finds herself yelling at the top of her voice, “Ashita, Siddhant, hurry, have your breakfast already. I need to leave for the AWWA (Army Wives Welfare Association)Meet soon.” The semi-opened luggage boxes scattered all around the house and heaps of garments on top of a couple of chairs in a corner highlighting the contrasting elements of the picture.
It has just been 15 days, since they moved to this new station where her husband a decorated army officer was posted to recently. Despite the best of her efforts Payal is still finding it challenging to get her house in order and her life back on track. However having done this more times than she would want to remember, Payal has mastered the tricks of the trade by now. Packing a house into cartons -moving to a new location -unpacking- starting life all over again is pretty much a ‘life skill’ for any Fauji wife, and Payal is no exception.

Life as a fauji spouse is not a cakewalk. What seems like a rosy picture full of merrymaking and enjoyment from the outside, has its share of challenges and thorns on the inside.

While the husband fulfils his vows to protect and serve the nation at any cost it might take, the wife stands by him as a rock solid support system, nurturing their home and family .
Even before she says ‘yes’ to a man in uniform, she  knows that life won’t be easy. Eventually she has to often transform into  being ‘the man of the house‘  (as if being a woman was not a challenge enough in this world) on top of being ‘the lady of the house’.

There are times when her emotional as well as her physical resilience is put to test. The ‘normal’ marital life is often a mirage for these warrior women, for whom fighting multiple front battles everyday becomes the  ‘new normal’ .
However, it is this very daily training that prepares these Fauji wives for any challenges that may be stealthily waiting around any corner of life. They are the unsung heroes who although do not physically go to the battle-ground, but are the real core of their husband’s morale with their resolve and all the sacrifices they make.

Most fauji-wives, who are highly educated, let go of their career and dreams bound by their responsibility to the family and societal expectations. However, some of these warrior women  decide to soar higher and kiss their dreams, while taking along peers and others.

Priyanka Renjen Kumar and Payal S Talwar, spouses to Indian Army officers’ are two such warriors. They weren’t scared to take the leap. In the process, they founded WINGS Team- (Women in Need for Grander Success). A one-of-its-kind organization that provides work primarily to fauji wives wherever they are stationed in the country. WINGS provides NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) training, coaching, and content development services. Founded in 2010, the organization has become the reason in helping people finding back the purpose of their lives.

Payal says, “We wanted to have our cake and eat it too!” Well, they did it too. They have managed to balance family, army and their own career perfectly well. Priyanka says, “We stretched time- worked at odd hours, before children would wake and once husband leaves for work.” She reminisces, “We attended calls from washrooms while attending events in the Army.” They even made makeshift offices in café’s, worked while traveling in rickshaws, knocked on doors of several organizations seeking work. In a nutshell, they never gave up.

Another inspiring story is of Mrs. Ranjeeta Ashesh, wife of a serving Army officer. Adorned with amazing poetic skills, Ranjeeta has formed an organization named ‘Kshitij’. Poetprenuer She has a dream that every budding poet should be able to turn their passion into profession. 

Kshitij helps new poets to publish, promote, market, and sell their books. It has successfully conducted two seasons of a competition titled ‘Indian Iconic Poet’- IIP, so far. The organization is helping young and anxiety-filled minds to recover from any dark phases in their life by doing something purposeful and creative.  “What better could have been done for the society than changing lives altogether by giving them a purpose to flourish!” says Ranjeeta.

Apart from a poet, Ranjeeta is also an author, a model, a motivational speaker and a social worker. Apart from helping the budding authors, they are also giving back to the society, “10% of the profit of Kshitij goes to ‘Parvarish’- A museum school for underprivileged slums kids and ‘Pratik’- a school for the disabled children!”

Another name among these warriors is that of a psychotherapist and licensed clinical psychologist, Prachi S Vaish, proud wife of an Indian Air Force officer. She is in the field of mental health for  around 15 years now. She started Hopenetwork in 2009, India’s first online counselling website. (emotionalwellnessinitiatives.com)

Due to frequent spouse transfers, she started rendering her services online. It invited a lot of criticism initially, but eventually it prospered. On the brighter side, she even has got a lot of appreciations from the international mental health practitioners.

The gut and determination of these brave ladies is infinite. They have been changing lives- of themselves and others.  And as Prachi S Vaish, says, “Instead of boxing oneself up and suppressing your dreams, go ahead and fulfil them. It is all about a fine balance of the fauji commitments and own career goals.” They indeed are the true, combat queens!

Article Writer : Poonam Atreya ; Edited by : Upma Goswami